I pretty much realized what I wanted to do with my life because I started writing fan fiction not long after I graduated high school. I realized I loved to write, which led me to designing websites, making graphics, and even though I didn’t know it at the time, marketing.

I haven’t written fan fiction in years, but I still love to write fiction.

Except I haven’t written anything in close to two years.

The first thought I had when COVID-19 began and I started to work from home was, “Wow, I don’t have to sit in traffic anymore. I’ll have more time for writing!” Yeah, that didn’t happen. Two years into this pandemic and I haven’t written anything fiction-wise.

I am usually inspired by music. Whether it’s a melody, a lyric, or maybe just a theme of the song. Taylor Swift has always been in a huge inspiration and country music as a whole. In fact, it was country music that first inspired me to write fan fiction. Who knew 20 years later, the Backstreet Boys would be topping the country music charts? Not me.

Today as I worked, I played a country music playlist of new songs. There were songs by artists that I love like Luke Bryan, Thomas Rhett, Kelsea Ballerini and Keith Urban, but I will be honest. Some of the new artists are a little … too country?

I’m a woman who considers herself a walking Wikipedia of country music knowledge from the 00’s and back until the days of Hank Williams (Sr., not Jr.) and Patsy Cline.

Where does this mix in with my writer’s block? I was inspired this weekend with an idea, which I wrote and planned out a little Sunday evening. I thought listening to a country playlist would help inspire me to break that block. Inspire me!

Except the lyrics about trying to keep your daughter off the pole and your son out of jail just couldn’t do it. I had to turn the playlist off. There was not going to be any inspiration coming from that playlist after I heard a few songs like that. Not that anything is wrong with that, but it’s not inspiring to me.

I like to blame it on the fact that I write so much for work. I’m “written” out at the end of the day or on weekends. While that may be part of it, it’s just I’m not inspired.

I wrote what I think is my best story, “How to be an Adult Fangirl (and Not Ruin Your Life)” after the 2018 Backstreet Boys cruise. No, it’s not a fan fiction. But I was inspired and started work on an idea that I had already began months before.

The Backstreet Boys, especially Nick, have always been a big inspiration to me in so many ways that I can’t list here that changed my life and I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for them.

So maybe once things are really back to normal and the tour happens and I get to hang out with my friends around the country and world, I see my boys and see live shows again, maybe I’ll get inspired.

In the meantime, I guess I’ll just write about having writer’s block.

How ironic, don’t you think?